Emoting

I laughed at myself as I had the thought the other day, "I am sure emoting a lot these days." Is that a word? You be the judge. I like it though! :)

The reason that I am emoting so much is that we found out very recently that my Granny's cancer has returned and spread. She is in stage 4....with cancer in her lung and spine. I can see her health declining and it is hard to watch. But, I keep going back. I hope you'll agree that it is the right thing to do. The natural/human part of me wants to withdraw. It is that same feeling that makes people avoid hospitals, nursing homes and even turn their heads away from someone they might be inclined to stare at because of sickness or deformity. We all get touched by it eventually.

I long for the perfect....the way things were meant to be. I know that I will live it, breathe it, experience it someday. But, for now...I have to embrace this difficult time and keep looking up to find my faith and hope renewed so that I don't get sucked into despair. That may sound overly dramatic, but I hear people everyday who live there. I don't want to live there. I don't want my Granny or my Mom or any of the family to live there.

May the grace of our Lord be with you. Now and always, may you stay blameless til He comes...